Intermagia — Part 5

Shiny black leather shoes covered in dust swung like a pendulum in the air. A hanged man spoke to Arche, “Our noble house wanes. Peace is failing. A time of catastrophe is upon us. What will you do?”

A child gripped tightly onto her mother’s hand. She wanted to hide but there was nowhere to go. She looked up at her mother, her face, multitudes, warped into a melting mask of fury. “It has to be you! You’re all that’s left!”

She wanted to cry, but she couldn’t. She wanted to run, but there was no where to go. The hanged man and the enraged woman of many faces were all she could see. She held tightly onto her mother’s hand. “Stop being angry with me. I’ll do whatever you say. Please don’t be angry. Please don’t leave me with them.”

“It has to be you!” the mother screeched as the masks fell, all of them clattering onto the floor where they stared up at the child, laughing, resembling young, feminine faces. They began to hop and clatter, chomping and gnashing, taking chunks of her flesh as they ate her piece by piece. The laughter rang in her ears.

Arche’s eyes flickered. She was once again back in her tent. No crystals had formed during her slumber; she remembered her dream vividly this time. With a groan she stepped off her cot, her stomach ringing silent alarms of hunger. The clamor of returning soldiers echoed around the room instead. She recognized at once the low, powerful voice of General Porfyrian giving urgent commands, wondering if she might at last have an opportunity to meet her.

She peeked outside only to find Rania waiting, as if guarding her tent, cast in the golden hue of a setting sun. Their eyes met. Rania smiled as she bowed and said, “Are you well? Lord Hadler wishes to speak with you.”

Arche scowled instinctively. A beat too late, she replied weakly, “What are you, a messenger? Then tell him I shall be in my quarters.”

Rania had already begun walking away holding an empty bucket as she taunted, “Unlike you, we are both busy. Seek him in his tent.”

Arche gave another tired groan before disappearing back inside, already exhausted from the brief encounter. Seeing Rania only drained her of whatever motivation she could muster for the moment, but she realized something. If the soldiers had returned from battle, most of them would likely make their way to the rear market in order to purchase provisions. It had long been the case that caravans of merchants would follow the Imperial Army to trade spoils and loot for various goods and services, but she herself had nothing she was willing to part with for food. Perhaps it would be best to pay him a visit after all, she thought to herself, since he had all of their coin to purchase food, and she had no desire to go there by herself.

The mages were cordoned off in a separate part of the army campus, so neither was very far from the other. However, as she walked along the empty beaten paths, she wondered to herself where the other mage cavalrymen were. There were at least nine others besides the aged Lord Hadler, who wasn’t meant to enter the front lines regardless, but perhaps they were elsewhere. Announcing her arrival, she entered the only illuminated tent there. General Porfyrian was huddled onto the ground staring, her scarred face twisted into a grimace, her large, masculine body completely covered by her draping, crimson cloak. They had both been inspecting the body, an air of absolute quiet dread having fallen over the two mages. Arche stammered, “What is that? I’m not responsible for that, too, am I?”

“No, this is not the reason why you were called,” Hadler answered, rising to his feet and stretching his back. “I’m afraid the battle turned sour. According to the general here, the Cybelean counterattack was quite effective. This is the body of one of our cavalrymen.”

As if offering a prayer, Porfyrian muttered, “The only mage we could recover in our retreat, hewn like dry wood by a barbarian’s axe. I saw them myself, those Cybelean lords. They fall but rise again, undying. They move as swiftly as the horses they ride with an uncanny strength in their blows. They are bound by a far more dangerous esoteric than we could have known.” She too stood and continued, “It has become a top priority to understand and undo their magic. They are completely impervious otherwise.”

“Impervious?” Hadler said almost taken aback, “Could it be that the body we recovered is not then one of the immortal lords? We truly knew nothing of the Cybeleans, did we? For instance, the fact that the boy and I could communicate in the same langauge is nothing short of a mystery.”

“There is naught to know. The only thing of value in Cybele is their magic, which has rotted their culture and their people. They have no achievements or monuments. They engage in no diplomacy. Every messenger was turned away and they have abandoned themselves to isolation. The only knowledge that could be attained was to strike them with an iron and see how they react.”

“In such a scenario, oft it is the iron that reverberates.”

“None could have imagined the legends of their immortality to have been underplaying their power. Ask the Cybelean you captured what he knows. It appears we knew and still know next to nothing.”

“I’m afraid he is unavailable for the moment,” Hadler said with a quiet glance at Arche, “And we must act fast to restore his trust or what knowledge we acquire may not ring true.”

Arche spoke at last, “Why do we need his trust? We can wring the information out of him with magic.”

“There is no such magic which can be relied on,” Hadler continued, “Unless you mean to say we torture the information from him.”

The general nodded, “If that is what it takes.”

“No,” Hadler shook his head, “In my youth, working with my predecessor, I have witnessed the futility of coerced interrogation.” He froze, struck by a dark thought. “There is another method of inquiry, but it still requires Nils to cooperate of his own free will.”

“Again, whatever it will take. I must tend to other matters. You and your apprentice are to get this done as soon as possible. You have full access to the reserves in order to do so, but you must be discreet. I will inform the guard captain.”

“He will certainly not like that,” Hadler chuckled, “But yes, thank you again for the visit, commander. I hope to offer a report worthy of your confidence.” He gave a half-hearted salute. She returned it and left in a hurry with the rustling sound of chainmail.

Arche hunched down to inspect the body, too. This was not her first time seeing a corpse. She fought the urge to run. Her chest felt heavy as she scanned the body. The cause of death was immediately obvious; there was a gaping hole where the heart should have been. “What are we to do, Lord Hadler?” she said trembling, barely hiding her terror, “Truly will the fate of this entire affair rest on our shoulders?”

“Firstly, Arche, you are to apologize to Nils. Rania has already informed me that he is conscious and unscathed; nevertheless, you have wronged him, and you must repay your debt to him in kind.”

“What debt do I owe a prisoner?” she said with an intense glare, her chest still heaving, “Why do I have to apologize?”

“Because you nearly killed him. It was a miracle that he survived, considering the amount of energy that was expensed. Imperial law dictates that a captive is the property of the captor, and he is my captive, so I believe a fair punishment for the crime of private vandalism is for you to ensure he still trusts in the mission.”

Her breathing seemed to worsen as she listened. “What if I fail? Will I have to return to the Academy?” she panicked, “Is there no enchantment that will bind him under our control?”

Hadler’s expression was stony, his eyes tired, “That is a far more ancient magic that intermagia shall perhaps some day replicate, but for now, the best you have is to say sorry. Now, I must find a vacant tent to retire for the night. It has been a long day. We shall resume in the morning.”

“But-“

Hadler stopped just as he reached the exit and added as his expression loosened, “The mention of punishment was in jest.” He drew a deep breath. Then he sighed. “But it is only right for a lady of Concordie to make amends, not enemies.”

She fell silent, her heart still pounding as she was left alone with the corpse, the heart once buried in his chest exhumed. She knew already who he was. He had a reputation as a cruel and vicious soldier, adept at a particularly gruesome form of intermagia that would create thin blades of highly pressurized air. She had no fondness for him, but to see his lifeless body filled her with foreboding. This kind of mage on the battlefield should have been unstoppable. For someone to have gotten close enough to scoop out his heart so precisely was unimaginable.

“Oh, I had nearly forgotten,” she heard Hadler from outside, snapping her out of her trance. “You’ve probably not eaten all day. Fortuitously, the best way to apologize is over a meal. Seek out Nils in Rania’s quarters and buy yourselves something from the market. She should be familiar with the vendors there and can tell you which stalls won’t upset your stomachs.” Her mentor held a silver coin between his fingers. “A milligram should cover the three of you. Prices are higher here than you might expect.”

“You want me to dine with them now? How much further must I humiliate myself?”

With a frown, the man took her hand and opened it himself, placing the silver coin called a milligram into her palm before he gently closed it like a locket. “Pay close attention, Arche. This is no place for pride. I have long since cast mine aside joining this endeavor. The magic there is to be learned from Cybele will far outweigh what personal concerns you may have. It may alter the course of the Empire itself.”

She took the coin and pocketed it without complaint, merely asking, “When should I return with the prisoner?”

“I’ll have Rania fetch you tomorrow morning an hour after sunrise.”

Without another word, she did an abrupt about-face and left, her rapid gait overflowing with nervous energy. Her thoughts raced as she approached the tent she would usually go out of her way to avoid. “It is only right to make amends,” she muttered to herself, a short mantra as if to persuade herself. “As a lady of Concordie.”

She announced herself as she entered, seeing Nils alone, stunned by her presence. He leapt out of the low cot and scrambled back. Arche hardly knew how to react, simply watching as he glared from the corner of the tent, his body arched and tense like a wary housecat. It would have been humorous had she not felt so awful about it. Everything felt awful about this.

“I’m not here to attack you,” she said firmly, “Relax.”

He did not yet speak. He lowered his shoulders and stood upright, still on guard. “For what have you come?”

She swallowed, unsure how to word her response, her mouth opening to form them before she shut her eyes. Her hand gripped the single silver coin her mentor had given her as she found herself holding it out in front of her. “This.”

The boy flinched, “What is it?”

“It’s enough to buy food. You will accompany me to the market.”

He stared at her hand, not knowing what to do, only able to muster up, “I’ve never actually handled coin before.”

She cocked an eyebrow, almost smugly, “See? I knew you were nobility. I’ve never had to touch something as base as metal coinage until I got here, too, but this is all the market deals in. The rations given out to the soldiers taste like dust and sweat, so we must make do.”

“Why should I accompany you…?” he asked warily, meeting her gaze.

“Do you have no sense of duty? A lady is requesting an escort, and you’d deny her?”

“I am under no such obligation to you. You attacked me,” he said bluntly, lowering his guard at last, “You belittled me, and now you are pressing me into your service. It is just as Rania said about you.”

At her name, Arche threw down the coin in her hand. She could feel heat and tears rising to her eyes as if a mental dam had broken. “It’s because of her… that I can’t go to the market by myself…” She stood there, her arms stiff. “She spread malicious lies about me to the other merchants so they won’t do business with me. Don’t ever listen to Rania. She pretends to be sweet and compliant, but she’s a liar!”

Nils lowered his gaze, “Is it proper for me to waste time like this?”

The two stood in silence.

Suddenly, she shouted, “Fine! I have given you ample opportunity! I’ll go by myself!” However, her legs remained rooted to the ground as tears streamed down her cheeks. “I’ll go! I’ll go!” she stamped her feet.

The tantrum stunned the young knight. If Rania was a liar, she hadn’t lied about Arche’s fragility thus far. Nils shook his head, knowing full well what his master would think in this situation. With a strained effort, he let out, “Very well, I shall escort you.” He stepped forward and picked up the fallen coin. “I apologize for the hesitation,” he said as he bent down, as if not to Arche but to his late master.

“What?” Arche said, rubbing an eye, “Don’t apologize. Please. Just be quiet and come with me. And you do all of the talking.”

“Verily, which is it then?” Nils complained under his breath, shuffling behind her driven almost entirely by hunger rather than honor.

They navigated across camp together towards the rear market, which to Arche seemed livelier than usual, although it appeared that many of them had started to tear down their stalls. She had expected the smell of roasting meats and fried dough, but there seemed only to be the sight and sound of furious movements. “That’s strange…” Arche noted, “Night time is when it is most active. Why are so many of them packing up?” Her voice was somewhat muffled by the scarf she had wrapped to keep her face concealed, although anyone could tell from her outfit that this out-of-place girl could only have been Arche of Concordie.

“Do you know where a food merchant might be?”

“It was harder not to run into someone hawking grilled meat on a stick or baked goods here,” Arche said at a loss.

They continued to meander where they could until they had finally found one food vendor still willing to do business. The two eagerly approached, dodging in and out of the crowd, only to find vegetables brined in clay pots. “Surely we cannot just eat pickles,” Arche groaned, holding her nose.

Nils, however, was beaming, “I happen to relish pickled food. My mother would pickle eggs in a sweet vinegar for my sister and I. Radishes as well. And carrots. If we can find cheese and bread, this would be more than a feast.”

“Your mother did all of that?”

The old merchant finally noticed the two as he peeked up from under a wide brimmed hat. He rasped with a smile, “None of those, I’m afraid. Just cucumber and cabbage left.”

“Will this coin be sufficient?” Nils asked boldly, holding up the coin that Arche had thrown between his fingers.

Arche forced his hand down with her own, “Are you crazy or just stupid? That coin could buy almost five whole giant pots of pickles!”

“Oh,” the old merchant reacted, “I recognize you. You’re famous.”

Arche wrapped her face back up and turned away in silence.

“Sir, if I may ask, does she hold some disrepute at the market?”

“She stole something that wasn’t hers. Ain’t no bigger taboo among merchants, my boy.”

“It wasn’t like that! That wasn’t what happened at all!”

The old man grinned, showing off a smile of several missing teeth, “Gossip travels faster than sickness. When one of us is hurt we all react quick.”

“And if I may ask one more thing,” Nils continued, “What has caused the market to stir in such strange ways? It appears many are closing earlier than expected.”

“Ah,” the old man stood up, stretching his back, “Well, I answered your last question for free, but any more will be for paying customers only.”

“Let’s go,” Arche said, tugging on his shoulder, “I don’t even want any dumb pickles.”

“Then I shall purchase a pot, sir,” Nils said.

“What?!”

“Heh,” the merchant smiled toothily, receiving the silver coin from Nils, “Take whichever one you want. Take two in fact. The market is shutting down as of today anyway so it won’t matter none if I sell to a thief or not. I’d rather not carry these back home anyhow.”

“It is shutting down?”

“The Empire has never lost a battle for as long as I have been alive, my boy. Until today. We’re not sticking around to see what will happen in a retreat. Our livelihood is trade, not war. We profit off of it, but we don’t engage in it.” He, too, started to put away the small blankets and goods into a cart. “You look surprised.”

“The Empire… lost?” Nils said, stunned into a wide-eyed stare, “I had thought with our vanguard decimated it would only be a matter of time before the rest would fall. Were the other Lords truly so powerful?”

Arche looked at him quizzically, “You mean you didn’t know? Aren’t you Cybelean?”

“Our people have not engaged in conflict in over a century. There is not a person alive save for the Lords themselves who would have seen battle. They were keen to ensure our martial prowess was honed for such a day, but the mages of the Empire wiped out Lord Labroaig’s unit before we could even realize what had happened. I had thought intermagia invincible.”

“It seems like it’s the opposite. The other Lords launched a counterattack that wiped out all of the other mages. Lord Hadler, Lady Porfyrian, and myself are the only mages left in the camp for now. I’m sure they’ll send reinforcements at once though.”

The once carefree old merchant’s grin had loosened into a frown as he heard the two children speak, “You are both far too young to be speaking such words.”

“I am old enough, although perhaps not as old as you,” Arche spat.

“Do you dislike our manner of speech?” Nils inquired.

“You two are both looking for food, right? Haul up those pickles for me, boy. I’ll take you to my tent where I can feed the both of you some dinner and some wisdom.”

“Wisdom? I need no lecturing from some common pickle peddler,” Arche scoffed, “Come, Lord Nils.”

“We are invited as honored guests, Lady Arche. Is this not the opportunity you so desired to soothe your hunger and restore your reputation?”

She was silent, the tension in her arms causing the scarf she held to her face to shake. “It is only right as a lady of Concordie,” she relented, “You make a fine advisor, Lord Nils. I shall humbly accept.” Despite all of this, a confident smile returned to her face. The prospect of food must have driven away all other thoughts of humiliation, or so Nils thought. He picked up the pots of pickles the old merchant indicated and followed behind Arche, who had already begun trailing the old merchant and his cart.

It wasn’t a long way before the backroad lead them to a series of large circles of exotic tents, where the clamor of a communal dinner ritual was taking place. “Do you not purchase food among yourselves here?” Nils asked, taking in the sights and smells of frying oil, meal preparation, and children squealing and running in play.

“It’s all based on promises organized by the women of the caravan. Coin is used for dealings with the Empire, but among our group, it’s a matter of trust. Makes it easier to survive that way when times are tough. What you’re looking at ain’t usual, though. Looks like we have to start preparing enough rations for the trip back home now that it’s dangerous to stay. We’ll likely leave first thing in the morn.”

Both Nils and Arche remained unfazed by the chaos of the languages and movement at the merchant camp, both doing their best to hide their overwhelmed senses. They entered a smaller tent towards the center where a lively old woman with braided hair was perched on a stool over a pile of unusual root vegetables amassed on a woven mat, peeling them. She greeted the old man first with a wave, “Hurry up and sit. We’re gonna be up all night if we don’t get to it,” she paused, peering past him at the children, “Good, tell them to get cracking, too.”

The odor rising from the tent hit Arche first like a slap. “What is that?” she coughed nasally, holding her nose and turning away.

“It’s dinner, and if we don’t hurry, there won’t be none for us, little thief girl.”

“Wha-” she started, “Does every one of you people know who I am?”

“There’s only one other Helikan girl in camp besides little Rania, right?” the old woman guffawed, her deep voice far mightier than her age would suggest. “My baby brother brought you here to make amends, I’m guessing.”

“That’s me,” the old man grinned, “I’m her baby brother.”

“I gathered,” Arche said flatly, still holding her nose aloft in the air.

He ushered the two of them inside, “We’ll make sure the two of you get fed, but nothing in this life is free.”

Arche recoiled at the very thought, “You want me to do this? Peeling vegetables? No. I’ll be waiting outside. Alert me when dinner is ready.”

“There is no dinner if you don’t do your part, young’un,” the old woman chided.

Nils sighed, sitting at the mat and crossing his legs, “I shall do her part then,” he said, “It would be sooner done myself than convincing her to cooperate.”

“You’re wrong there,” the old woman said as she bounded to her feet, stomping towards Arche with a paralyzing glare, “If you care about someone, you’ll make sure they participate and do their share. You’re doing them no good by abandoning them like that, you know?” She grabbed Arche by the arm and started to drag her back inside. The girl flinched at first shocked at the sheer strength of the old woman, unable to peel her thick, worn fingers wrapped like deciduous vines around her slender wrist.

Her feet scrambled as she plead, “Wait! Wait! We can negotiate! He’ll do the peeling and I’ll do anything else! I have a very sensitive sense of smell!”

“You can cry all you want, but working with your hands will make you forget all about the smell soon enough.”

“I’m going to gag! I’m going to throw up!”

“Stop your wailing!”

As soon as Nils looked up, Arche tumbled to the ground, wheezing and dry-heaving, her eyes watering as her chlorine hair seemed to shudder, draping her face. Everyone watched quietly, stunned as she picked herself back up, involuntarily sniffling. Just as she was about to say something, she turned and ran from the entrance, wiping her face with her open palms.

“I shall return not long hence,” Nils said, rising to his feet.

Arche did not make it far, and the figure of her hunched over, retching, stood out enough for him to spot her at a distance. He hesitated for a moment just to see her whispering something. As he approached, she looked up and seemed almost relieved to see him. “I told them that the smell was too much. They didn’t even bother listening to me,” she rasped.

Nils noticed her eyes glittering, illuminated by the large bonfire at the center of the encampment where people were congregating, the setting sun causing them to sparkle like gems. She was doing something strange he did not immediately understand. It appeared as if she was gathering her tears into her hands, gently sifting her finger across her palm.

“I shall acquire food enough for us both,” Nils said. “Despite what happened, I cannot believe that they mean harm.”

“I don’t feel like eating anymore,” she muttered, moving to sit on the trunk of a recent felled tree, “You must think I overreacted, too, don’t you? That I’m being too dramatic?” Her chest slumped into her knees as she caught her breath.

He thought about it for a moment and said firmly, “I do not. My lord did always say that individuals have unique weaknesses that must be compensated for with mutual cooperation.”

“Cooperation?” she stared up in disbelief, “The way of this world is domination. It is ridiculous that your lord of all people should say such things. The weak obey the powerful; the powerful do not cooperate with the weak. It is eat or be eaten, and the more weakness I show, the more likely I’ll be no more than food.” She spoke as if those words were being spoken by someone else, her stiffened composure nothing like the frightened girl from earlier. “Therefore, I must be powerful, too.”

Nils wished to disagree but remained still. Certainly it was true that there were people like that, but Lord Labroaig was never domineering. To Nils, he was a good lord. “Is that why you have become a mage? For the sake of power?”

“Is that not why anyone would pursue intermagia? There doesn’t exist a person alive who studies magic for the pure love of it. You study for wealth, fame, power, and success. Anything else will get you trampled underfoot in the Empire. Isn’t that why you chose to become a knight?”

“I wished only to serve my lord.”

“What could this lord possibly have done to earn such loyalty…?”

“I believe it impossible to become powerful when weakened by starvation. Shall we return?”

“Were you not listening? I’m not going there. Find some food and bring it back,” she said.

“How are you so certain I will return?”

“What?”

“I am under no obligation to fetch your food for you. Escorting a lady is one thing, but this is another. Is it not possible for me to abandon you here and acquire food merely for myself? After all, as you claim, it is eat or be eaten, is it not?”

“You…!” she gasped, flabbergasted, “You’re right… What was I thinking trusting you? We’re not friends. We’re supposed to be enemies.”

“Was this how you treat friends, Lady Arche?”

“I know! If you get me food, I’ll give you this in exchange,” she said confidently, hopping back to her feet and holding out her palms. There, where Nils had expected the wetness of tears, were tiny glimmering pebbles.

“I have no need for dirt,” he replied dismissively, baffled at this gesture.

“This is mnemos! My mnemos!” she yelled, pulling her hand back, “Dirt? Dirt?!” she nearly laughed, “This is a precious part of my very soul! I shouldn’t even be trading this to you, but I did it as a show of good will.”

“If this is of worth, why not offer this to the merchants for food instead?”

“I could never trade my mnemos with mere merchants. The fact that I was willing to give you some at all is an honor, Lord Nils. I’ll give you one last chance since you’re a Cybelean, and you may not have understood the extent of my generosity.” She held out her hand.

Her embarrassed expression drilled holes into Nils’s eyes. He mulled the idea over in his head before he finally responded, “Can I trust you? Rania told me something of great interest. She claimed that you were a liar. That I should not heed your words at face value.”

“So? You trust her then? She lies all the time, too.”

“We are all liars. Myself included,” he could not meet her eyes as he continued, “I am uncertain as to how to proceed. If only my lord were here to guide me. In truth, I have never been as alone as I am now, and so despite everything, I would rather not stay alone.”

“For a liar, you’re stupidly honest,” she sighed, taking in his words as if they were a breath of air. “That kind of behavior can get you killed. I suppose I was almost the one to do it.” Stepping forward, she pushed the single small crystal that had conglomerated from the glittering pebbles to his face. Softly, yet incandescent with a youthful awkwardness, she muttered, “I apologize for that.”

Nils took her hand with his own and shook it, the crystal clasped between hers and his. “I accept. My lord would approve of peacemaking over conflict. That is the kind of man he is.”

“Enough about your lord already. What do we do about dinner then? I have no intention of going there and doing as they demand. They have no such authority over someone like me.”

“I do not believe it is necessary to do anything that you do not wish to do. We have already acquired two pots of pickles, in any case. It would be best, however, if we could be in their good graces so as to find some common ground.”

“We could trade those for different food with someone else,” she mulled, her hand to her chin, ignoring everything that he had been saying.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that,” came the voice of the old merchant now approaching the two, “Truthfully, you overpaid for those. I’ll find a way to get you some food with the silver you already paid with.”

“See?” Arche glared, hands on her hips, “That is how things should have been done in the first place.”

“Well, no,” the old man added, “I’m being generous because you’re children, but the world is a cruel place even to young, little nobles like yourselves. Do you think we follow the army because we want to, miss?”

“Aren’t you? Aren’t there plenty of ways to earn money in the Empire?”

“For most of us here, we have to. This is a group of exiles, criminals, and displaced. Orphans too frightened to sell their bodies. The hungry seeking opportunity. The spoils of the wars they wage make their way to us. Soldiers seeking the comforts of food, drink, and women and we purveyors of such things don’t have a lot to offer children. You should leave while you still can.”

Nils responded, “I thank you for your kindness, but there is no leaving so long as my lord rests here. I must find a way to wake him from his slumber, and if I cannot, to bury him. There is a mage lord here who is inspired to unravel the secrets of my lord’s immortality.”

Arche stared in disbelief, “Why did you tell him all of that? Have you no sense of privacy?” She hadn’t known what Nils had been promised by her mentor, but she had to wonder if he had been deceived. There was no possible way that Lord Hadler would allow an enemy lord to be revived in the middle of their camp.”

“I was taught to use dialogue to find consensus. Deception has no place in diplomacy.”

“Diplomacy is to turn information into daggers, Lord Nils. Keep it to yourself until it’s necessary.”

“Kids like you shouldn’t be touching knives or diplomacy,” the old man muttered, his hoarse voice steeped in lament, “The world’s cruel enough as it is. The least I can do is deal fairly with children.”

“Fairly… Yes, your sister would have Lady Arche work for her food,” Nils added, “But peeling vegetables is something that disagrees with her sense of smell. I believe compromise is possible and other work can be done.”

“He already said that he’ll give us dinner, Lord Nils. The matter is settled.”

“I shall not dishonor my lord by dishonoring our hosts. When visiting another clan, we are to abide by their rules. Accepting exceptions would be no different from admitting we are incapable of becoming peers.”

“Merchants are not our peers. We do not do things here the way that they are done where you are from. They are lessers.”

“Their customs are no less worthy of honoring.”

“I don’t understand you. Why are you making things difficult for me? I thought we’re friends now.”

“This is what is best for both of us.”

“Enough, enough,” the old man waved, interrupting the children, “The boy’s right. The girl’s right. Chirping in circles like call birds. Listen, I’m telling the two of you to come with us when we leave first thing tomorrow. I don’t think this is any place for children to stay.”

The two glanced at each other and back at the old man, almost simultaneously replying. “That cannot be done,” the boy said. “Absolutely, no,” said the girl.

“What’s possessed the two of you to stay on a battlefield…?”

“The same thing that made me come in the first place,” Arche scoffed, “I plan on becoming the most powerful mage to have ever and will ever live. No one will be able to defeat me in matters physical, intellectual, or social.”

Nils stared at her in disbelief, his mind unable to complete its next thought. What she had said was as absurd as confidently declaring that she would one day become a tree. “For in truth, what has possessed you to say such a mad thing?”

“As if your reason is any better!” she shouted, “You want to revive someone who is already turning into food for worms! What you say doesn’t make sense to me, either!”

“Is of food all you can think?” Nils slung back, “We could have already been eating if you had cooperated.”

“Silence! As my friend, you have to be on my side!”

“That is not how I have perceived it.”

As the two bickered, the old woman approached, balancing three bowls of a fragrant stew on her arms.

The Woman Shrouded in Moonlight

In the subtle gleam of moonlight against the creek was a dark gash of water dyed red. It was the twilight hour of someone’s life against the shadow of a creekside willow tree. The red traced itself backwards towards a limp wrist, tender and smooth, as pale as the moon itself. The arm connected to that wrist twitched. The shoulder shifted. The neck tensed as a weak smile met by a shallow breath parted to form words. “I’m finally free.”

Something throbbed within her. It wasn’t her heartbeat, but something like a drum, as if ordering her to get back up and run. Her upper arm was shattered, her shoulder dislocated, and every breath had to be shallow or her broken rib would puncture her lung. And still, something in her pushed her — no, demanded her — to live. Run and live. Dying is not an option.

The pursuit party on horseback did not know how far she had fallen from the mountainside, but the hounds would be on her soon. They knew her scent well and they were trained to navigate forests even at night. There came an abundance of noise from above, the clatter of hooves coming to a stop as barks rung like a series of death knells through the night.

“I see signs of a fall here, captain.”

“Dismount. We continue on foot down this way. You and the beholder sorceror remain here.”

“Understood.”

Their conversation was faint, but her hearing started to improve as she came closer to death. As her blood continued to drain from her body, she was ready to die and become unshackled from this world forever.

“Don’t die,” a voice shivered in her head, “You must live.” All she had to do was ignore that voice for a few moments longer. “If you die, how am I to live? How are we to exact our vengeance against these men?”

She responded to herself, “How am I to do any of that in the state that I am in?”

The voice grew in intensity, “They have trapped me within you because you are weak. You have always been weak. You are unfit to be a vessel of my power, and yet I live because you are weak and can speak to you because you are weak. But now is the time to be strong. Turn your weakness into strength by obeying me and fleeing.”

“To where shall I go? They shall be upon me soon.”

“You must not die! You may do anything but that! I do not care!”

She scoffed as a stabbing pain pierced her side. She would have to be careful not to do that again.

A man barked orders at his comrades, “Be cautious! The girl’s soul is bound with the harvest goddess! Do not allow her to die, or we shall share her fate!”

The harvest goddess spoke again like a drum beat in her mind, “Do not die! Do not be captured! Flee!”

But all she wanted to do was to finally rest and be done with all of this.

All that she had ever known in her life was to serve the goddess of the earth — the one known by many names, daughter of the goddess of life, wife of the god of the underworld, favored among the gods as the pearl of heaven. She had been told from her childhood that so long as she maintained dutiful reverence and service to the goddess, the people would know peace and prosperity. So why now did she have to suffer at the hands of the people?

“Because that is the nature of mankind. That is why my power belongs to ones such as I. That is why control over the harvest was never meant to belong to men.”

“I am sorry. I am sorry, goddess. I am unworthy to ask for forgiveness or mercy, I know, but if you would allow me to just sleep now and live this life no more…”

A searing pain seemed to burn within her head, “No! You judge correctly in your unworthiness. You too are responsible for the sin of allowing yourself to be used as a shackle to bind a goddess. I shall punish you all the same as the rest unless you listen to me now and get up! My lord husband is the ruler of the underworld! Do you not think it within my ability to find your soul upon your death and torture you for an eternity?”

“Then why is it that you fear him?”

After a pause, the goddess seethed, “Insolent, arrogant child! I do not fear anybody! I am disgusted with him! Enraged by him! His wife had been abducted for ten years and still these men live! Ruler of the underworld with no sense of responsibility! He deserves only my wrath and my scorn, but if you were to die and I return to the underworld with you, we shall fall under his full authority. Then surely he shall never let me leave again! That is the kind of coward that he is!”

The men grew closer as they descended the mountain side in the moonlit dark, cloud cover beginning to slow their movements. There was no safe way to carry torches down with them, and so they had found themselves barely able to move during times of pitch blackness.

“Listen, child, do you know what happens to the harvest without me? Nothing. Neighboring lands outside of your little slice of civilization have been languishing since my capture. I am certain they are praying to me even now, but I can hear nothing. The first year, I was merely horrified as you blessed the fields of your city and yours alone. As you overheard reports of other cities coming to yours for help and being denied. As you all hoarded your wealth and abused your influence to acquire more power, crushing underfoot any who would defy you. Did you know that a war has been fought over you already? In the tenth year, I am now furious!”

“I have heard of these wars… I did not know they were fought over me…”

“And yet still!” she cried out in grief, “And yet still do I love humans! I do not wish to see your kind come to ruin! If I return to the underworld, all of you will die! You would be eradicated for your sins against the gods, and I am trying to prevent that!”

“But I do not care… let them be eradicated.”

“What?” the goddess expressed a genuine bewilderment.

“We deserve to be punished for the evils we have committed. Humanity has failed to respect the gods, nature, or our position in world. We are a disease meant to be purged, a curse that is meant to be exorcised.”

“Again, arrogant child, you are so very wrong. As a single human being with the limited perspective of a set of eyes looking up from the base, you do not know the full scale of the mountain itself. You have no reason to be confident in what you see or believe. I truly hate nothing more than adults who refuse to mature and accept responsibility for their actions. If you wish to believe that humanity must be punished, so be it. I judge you and all of mankind guilty for your sins against me and against nature. You are sentenced to work and restore that which you have destroyed. Is that what you would like to hear? Have you run out of excuses, lazy child?!”

She did not respond, instead lifting her still unbroken arm towards the moon, now fully visible. The sound of men’s shouts drew near.

“You borne also from the mother goddess,” came a woman’s voice from thin air, “How unexpected to find you here. You seem to be a rather noisy center of attention.”

She looked towards the direction of the voice, spotting a lone bear, staring hungrily, perhaps drawn by the scent of blood. Was it the bear who spoke just now?

“Oh, holy maiden of the hunt,” the harvest goddess addressed the bear in relief, “Conditions have aligned for us to meet, I see. I’m not sure if either of our legends have us ever crossing paths. It matters not. Although their beholder sorcerors have used my legend against me, there is a beholder here as well. She can observe a new legend between you and I. Whisk her away to safety, I beg of you. She is someone who must not die.”

“Pathetic,” the bear scoffed, “To be reduced to asking for my assistance implies you are not worthy of my assistance to begin with. I am the goddess of the untamed. I operate according to one thing alone, and that is my whim. Nothing controls me.” It turned to leave, adding with one final statement, “Have you not also noticed that this woman wishes to die? Perhaps before requesting others heed your wishes, you heed the wishes of others.”

Her demeanor warped quickly, what little patience she had disintegrating into dust, “All I have ever done was heed the wishes of humanity! Those same humans that worship you are fed by me and only me! You have long since turned your back on providing them a means of sustenance so they have no choice but to seek my help! Irresponsible goddess with no sense of duty! Your dereliction could very well be the reason why they have captured me in the first place!”

“Girl,” the wild goddess addressed her serenely, a pointing visage of a woman wrapped in multi-colored furs appearing above the bear, “What do you wish for? I am in a generous mood tonight. Ask and you shall receive it. Is it a gentle death?”

She stared back up at the bear that began to approach her. It felt calming in an unexpected way.

“Have you forgotten your sister priests?” the harvest goddess asked the woman in desperation, “Those who have raised you and loved you since your birth?”

Her heart rate began to rise. No, I don’t actually want to die, she thought, every cell in her body protesting against her. Still, she quenched that desire and laid still, silent.

The harvest goddess continued, “Abandon them then! When they die and come to the underworld you can tell them yourself why you decided to give up!”

“Hmph,” the hunter goddess grunted in amusement, “Are you resorting to emotional threats to get your way? You truly know nothing of people. Typical of a goddess who treats people as subordinates or children instead of equals. Listen to me, wheat-brained goddess, they do not need our help. They can figure things out on their own given time. If anything, there will come a point when we must shortly go to war with them ourselves. That is what makes them so terrifying. Do you not see already how they have humbled you? Tricking you into this shackle? I had thought it impossible unless… Ah, unless…”

The harvest goddess said nothing, but the silence felt like she was glaring.

The hunter continued, “It seems to me that you do not wish to have this woman die precisely because it would expose you for what you really are. It has been bothering me for a while now. You see, there is no true means by which to imprison a goddess, for we exist solely in mystery. To see and understand who we are is the same as killing us. Girl, the people believed they summoned a goddess, and so you fabricated one in your own mind, did you not? One that is a mixture of your idea of the goddess of the earth and your own psyche.”

The harvest goddess growled, “What?! This is outrageous… To suggest that I am a figment of a crazed woman’s madness is utterly blasphemous!”

The woman was indeed confused. Is that truly what she had done all of these years? The voice in her head was merely a delusion?

The hunter continued, “I am a true goddess, unbound and unchainable. The one in your head is not. Indeed, the only reason why we can converse now is because you are dying. I remain shrouded in the bubble of plausible deniability. But the one ‘shackled’ to you? A deceitful mind playing tricks on itself.”

“Prove it! Prove that I am not a real goddess!” the harvest goddess was enraged to the point that the woman on the ground had started to feel heat rising from her chest.

But the hunter remained as cool and unconvinced as ever, “Nonsense. Proof is our poison. No deity would ever suggest such a thing.” The hunter waved her hand in dismissal, turning to the dying woman, “Girl, I do not know your story, but I can see that there is guilt in you. The goddess in your head manifests as vengeful because you are vengeful, and you do not know how to handle this for you are a gentle soul. Vexingly tragic. Tell me now, and I shall do it for this has fascinated me.”

“Do this? What do you mean?” the woman croaked.

“I shall slay your pursuers, and then lay you to rest. That is the cost of vengeance. What say you?”

“Get up!” the harvest goddess yelled, “Please!”

“Well?”

The woman summoned the strength to lift herself off the forest floor using the arm that had not been broken, staring up at the bear gazing peacefully back. “My entire childhood had been spent in the company of my sister priests. I never knew my mother and father. I studied day and night in the temple, worshiping and praying, learning the stories of the gods and goddesses that governed all of nature. When I had been chosen to become the vessel of the harvest goddess upon my coming of age… at the time, I had thought it to be a high honor, but since then, I lost my rights as a human being. I was no longer allowed to speak with anyone. No longer allowed out into the light of day without a squad of guards. I was fed and taken care of, sequestered comfortably in a dungeon beneath the earth as if I were buried in a furnished coffin.”

The goddesses listened intently, awaiting her decision.

And so she continued, “In my loneliest hour, I began conversing with the harvest goddess, who, to my surprise, spoke back to me. I don’t know if she ever taught me anything I myself did not already know, so I started to have my doubts. I don’t truly wish to die, but I don’t see any other way out of this miserable life. I don’t want a goddess in my head as my only companion. I don’t want to be the cause of conflict. All I ever wanted was a peaceful life where I could laugh and enjoy time with my fellow sister priests. If I could have that, I would give everything else up, but I know that will never happen again. So all I ask is to be free of this, and if death is the only way, I’ll take it. As far as I’m concerned, I can’t muster the will to care anymore about anything.”

“Oh, child,” came a third voice, distinct in its tone and emotion from the other two. The harvest goddess was angry. The hunter goddess was serene. This voice was soothing. “You determine correctly that we three are no more than voices in your mind. Our sovereignty over the world ended the moment your kind became aware of story-craft. We retreated to the space of mystery because that is all we have left.”

“Mother…!” the harvest goddess gasped.

The hunter narrowed her eyes. “To manifest now? What makes this girl so special?”

The mother goddess continued as if ignoring the other two, “For you see, we exist as absolutely real in stories and legends, but stories do not exist in objective truth. They are themselves subjective structures that are generated in the minds of men in order to simplify a complex world. Beginning, middle, and end are no different from landmarks designated for convenience in a vast forest.”

“I don’t understand…” the woman muttered, “What are you saying?”

She was not visible, but the mother goddess seemed to give off the feeling of a smile, “Just that you are like us. Flee not from these men and command them with the authority of a goddess. We reside in you, my child, and our story is yours, but only if you choose to make it so. We goddesses might only exist in story, but you are a human with the ability to write one. There is no hopelessness so long as there is a narrative.”

With that, the three goddesses disappeared. The bear eyed the darkness behind her warily at the sound of approaching shouts and clamor. Men with bindings appeared at last from the cliffside wall, exhausted from their climb down.

“There she is! Capture her!”

“Hold!” she shouted with a force so powerful it hurt her chest. The men froze in their tracks. “You are in the presence of the goddess of the harvest! Kneel and beg for forgiveness!”

The bear roared in response at the men, causing some of the less experienced ones to crumble to the ground. Moonlight from behind the clouds seemed to make her glow radiantly against the water. The captain stood his ground, “My goddess, we must have you return to the city at once.” In his own mind, he was no longer certain what he was seeing. A woman — no, a deity commanding a wild animal. Moonlight and a willow — both, sacred images of the goddess of the hunt. Her very visage appeared transformed from the scared girl that escaped from the temple grounds. Has the goddess within her somehow awakened fully?

“I have finished what I have needed to. Do not harm my vessel further and do not dare disobey my commands. Consider well that the lives of you and your families depend on my providence. It is merely my whim that you all have the blessings of the earth as you do now.” The words truly seemed no longer her own. Something like hope seemed to drive her forward, “Let us return then at once. Grant me audience with the king of the city for we have much to discuss.”

“You heard her!” the captain barked, wanting nothing more than to return home without any more trouble tonight. Surely, he would be receiving a commendation for this. “Our mission is complete. Let us draw this out no further!”

Writing and Me

Writing is such a pernicious thing, isn’t it? Once it takes hold of you, it doesn’t ever truly let go. Donning the identity of “writer” is practically a surgery, a process that will leave the participant subtly changed in ways that they may never recognize. Maybe that responsibility to an identity is why it’s frightening to think about calling myself a writer. I merely write, arguably as do we all. Because ultimately we frame all thoughts — fleeting or lasting — into the context of words.

The skill of writing is just slowing down enough to capture those words into a script outside the mind. The science behind it is fascinating enough, studying the etymology and phonemes and diphthongs of every nuance in the study of language, but the art of it is almost impenetrable. Who can suggest why melodies sound the way they do except to throw their hands up and shrug? So what does that make good writing? The art or the science? The Taoist answer is that it’s the harmony of both; the Kantian answer is that it is the synthesis of both. Who cares? It’s enough to call it mystery and let flow good writing, judged only by the ability of that writing to most efficiently transfer the thoughts of the author into the mind of the reader, whatever avenue that happens to take. This means, of course, considering the sheer breadth of experiences in the world that writing has almost no meaning in generalities. The individual author has a task to throw into the zeitgeist of mankind their own stories, so that someone somewhere somewhen will be able to get something from distantly sympathizing with the mind of the author. In other words, it’s not necessary to write everything for everybody.

But going back to that efficiency factor of transferring thought into words… truly there is something lost in translation, right? Once we can read minds or upload thoughts directly into the brain, writing will be a dead craft, relegated to the same dusty shelf as weaving or coffee brewing. Well, certainly by that point humanity will have changed so fundamentally there’s a question of whether it’s even possible to fathom the similarities between such a society and ours. Techno-nihilism aside, converting feelings, experiences, expressions, and all of those undefined concepts into words is a process that involves analysis, which in Greek means to “loosen,” or more loosely, to break down into component parts. In short, it means to smash it apart and look at what’s inside, and this means that the gestalt of the concept is lost upon examination. Only upon examining can we then assign a word to whatever was inside, and that assignment even has a probability of error. To complicate things further, the reader then must take that word and consider the meaning of it in conjunction with all of the other preceding and succeeding words, which has its own probability of error, and it boils down to mere chance that any one person will understand the intent of the any other. Miscommunication should honestly be the expectation. How privileged we are as a species that it is not, though considering how often it happens, maybe we’re just entitled. I suppose we have thousands of years of evolution to thank for that, too.

To take apart something and transport it little by little to be reconstructed elsewhere is essentially the topographic map of communication. Creativity is its own special monster, as is story crafting, story telling, and all of the children that stem from communicating. Writing, however, is more than just the break down of ideas into words… it’s the distillation of the human desire to be remembered — to be acknowledged. Writing is the sublimation of the will to leave something behind and be immortalized, as well as the wish for an intimate connection with one other person, the reader. Should the reader respond back with writing, a two-sided relationship is made. It’s the crystallization of man’s loneliness and terror of an uncaring world, because while some writing is meant for a specific person to read, is it not the case that most authors and writers do not know the reach of their own words?

So I’ll continue to write, perhaps for someone in particular, perhaps for no one, but so long as I write for myself, I’m sure there will be like-minded people out there eventually who will read my work and think, “I understand you.”

That’s really all any of us want, huh?